Every now and then, disasters hits me like a smash and I am so demotivated that I don’t want to get out of my bed in the morning. It seems to me that on those days I simply can’t manage to get up, make a decent life, eat breakfast or think of something positive. The last part, thinking positive is certainly difficult every day, but on such days where motivation is hard to find, it seems like the whole world can explode. I honestly admit that those days often appear in my life, whether I am lying here in my bed or in the bed of a hotel in the middle of China. Ever since I was 10 years old, I’ve been trying to create a schedule – on the good days – to smash a portion of motivation into my brain. To date -21 years old- I have still not found a miracle remedy to immediately turn my demotivation into a supermotivation. Yet I see a link between certain uplifters and what impact they may have.
I will immediately drop a truth-bomb; these uplifters will not work for everyone and to be honest it works one day and the other day it doesn’t work. You also have to imagine that if you are demotivated nothing seems to work, if you are particularly sad, nothing seems to cheer you up and if you are particularly anxious nobody seems to be able to reassure you. That’s true. I understand. That’s why I call it a theory: it can not always work well in practice, but it does have a lot of success on paper.
Liabilities versus expectations
You probably know how it goes; the dishwasher has yet to be emptied, your mum asks if you want to go to the store or your boss expects your job to be finished on time. Everyone has obligations, including people with depression. Everyone expects something from someone else, whether you are physically or mentally ill or just completely healthy. This is how life is going and it will become even more difficult the more you listen to those obligations and expectations. I am not saying that you should say yolo to these two important things, but there is nothing wrong with setting the bar for yourself. Get ready for success, and don’t try to expect too much from yourself. Therefore choose one small to-do task for that day. A task you know you can do for sure.
Check these posts about traveling with depression!
Bucket List as a lure
Speaking of to-do’s, where is that Bucket List? If you are just like me, there are very cool things on that list. Things that are also labeled as “Once in a lifetime”. How attractive these things may seem, do not try to do them first. People are inclined to immediately address their biggest goal. Nothing wrong with that, everyone can dream. But don’t set the bar too high and opt for something that you can do without preparation. For example going to an amusement park. If there is a lot of preparation to come, you may get even more demotivated. Be tempted by the Bucket List, because sometimes such lists are useful.
Visualize and lure yourself into a trap
If motivation is hard to find, you can practice visualization. This exercise does work like a miracle. No idea how you can start? Let me explain. Imagine for example that you can check off a Bucket List item. Everything comes with it; the proud feeling, the dopamine that rages through your brain, people who look at you with astonishment and so much more. If you visualize this very violently, it is as if you are preparing yourself for success.
What you also can do is visualize what you would say to a friend. What would you specifically say if someone you know is demotivated? This also helps to be kind for yourself when you are demotivated. Because it’s true that most people are more friendly to their fellow person than to themselves.
Use the word “different”
When you leave your own comfort zone, you notice that life is going to look really different. You are indeed not suddenly happy, but your routine will look different. If you are depressed then everything seems to be the same every day. You are sad, you do not want to get up, you have to get up to not disappoint others, you do what’s necessary, etc. Everything just seems the same. Every day, every time. And then you have to find motivation in this? That is even more difficult than moving a mountain. Even though it is very difficult to leave your comfort zone, because this is often accompanied by fear, it does have a positive influence.
Check these blog posts about me leaving my comfort-zone!
Help and be the one who accepts it
If the motivation is completely gone, you can get help from someone you know very well. For example your sister, boyfriend or girlfriend, brother, parents, etc. These people can play an even more important role and give you some motivation. People who want to help you are a gift, so cherish them. I also realize that when you are demotivated, you prefer to be left alone. I get it. But only since a few years I understand the importance of helping people. And since then I have already made some good progress.
Where is that passion?
Traveling, my all time favorite passion. It makes me alive, it makes me anxious and obliges me to come out and it can make me so happy. By having a depression, you no longer see the point of having a passion. And believe me, I still remember what it feels like to pass through life without passions. But then I thought, I want a bit more spice in this lifetime. So I started to plan some more trips again. Despite the fact that it is still very difficult, the above uplifters provide indeed motivation. Although I can not deny that having a passion is one of the biggest boosts itself.